Zombies: Hello Kitty, the undead menace

I was gone but now I'm back to protect you all from a zombie attack.

Hi kids and welcome back. I've been off and got married this past week hence the tumbleweeds rolling over blogland. The wedding was good; thanks for asking.

Thanks to those of you still clicking the ads; your support is greatly appreciated. I can almost afford a glow in the dark toilet roll.

Now, zombies.

This week's suggestion was brought to us by Candace off of that there twitter who has shown me a very lovely zombie Hello Kitty.

"Aww" you might think.

Wrong. This brainhungry lump of rotting kitty meat is devilishly dangerous. Beneath the cutesy exterior is a bloodlust equal to that of Leatherface.

I have researched the beast and discovered that she commands telepathically an undead horde of similarly cutesy creatures (pictured in the background of the image)

Higher function destroying blood Infection:

Unlikely with this particular zombie but always be prepared. This would most likely be masked by the guise of an actual cute white cat. It's only when you start to coo that the other animals will sidle up behind you and tear you to bloody ribbons. You should aim to avoid being scratched or bitten which is not easy when dealing with animals. Chain mail or similar would be useful in this situation and a Hello Kitty handgun

Risen from the dead:

This is the most likely reason for the Kittypocalypse. A discarded plush toy has an ancient curse cast upon it and the tweeny icon rises from the earth her mouth dripping with a lust for human flesh. The other zombified animal minions would trudge forth from the woods and group together howling in tormenting union. If you see a cute white cat you should run. Do not climb up a tree as she commands a zombie bear (they can climb you know.) Lock yourself up until you can get your hands on something like this (with thanks to Geekologie)

Rage Infected or fast moving zombie:

Running is not an option; the savagery of these fluffy sparkly beasties is unparalleled. There is only one option. Mass destruction. Many will tell you that the use of rocket propelled grenades against zombies is overkill but in the case of the Hello Kitty menace it is the only viable option. Aiming for the fiend's pink bow should give you a high probability of destroying the brain sufficiently to put the kitty down for good. With the queen destroyed the other animals should be easily dispatched though it is quite probable they will move in to attack you during your RPG onslaught. A squad should be assembled to protect the wielder of the RPG at all costs, lest the feline menace be allowed to roam the earth any longer.

Thanks to Commissar L.R. Star at http://thepeoplescube.com/ for the Hello Kitty tank image. Keep fighting the good fight.